Dear Reader, I have written at length about the circuitous journey to a creative life that impacts your work, art, and life. The Long and Winding Road Toward a Wildy Creative You. You know by now that I don’t use memes that would indicate creativity is just an Artist’s Date or change of mindset away. It’s not that I don’t endorse such things, but I don’t think one can do something a couple of times and change their life.
This week, I was listening to a podcast with Brene Brown, Tim Ferris, and Dax Shephard. I was skeptical about a comment Mr. Shephard made that went something like this, “I never feel regret.” His philosophy about himself seemed to indicate that he chose not to feel difficult feelings. He wasn’t the first person I’ve heard who thinks our feelings are within our control. Choosing one’s mindset means one doesn’t have to feel fear, or alarm, or shame. I don’t know how people who say these things pull it off.
I didn’t feel feelings until I was 20. I grew up with a mentally ill, unpredictable, and violent mother. I learned to turn my attention outside my body and remain hypervigilant. I thought it would keep me safe, and it did not. The first feeling I had was anger. Then fear showed up at age 35. I am currently going through a wave of complex feelings that I believe are those suppressed feelings from my early years, finally having their say because it’s now safe for my body to let them out.
We are all different, and Mr. Shephard may live in his body in a way that is inaccessible to me. People have told me I could choose not to be angry or depressed, indicating that feelings are controllable and I can will them away. I have tried that, but it shows up later in inappropriate circumstances.
Suppressing feelings also seems to suppress my energy and creativity. What works for me, and is difficult to do, is to notice my feelings and take the time to let them be while being compassionate and loving with myself. Learning that this is what works has taken a long time. When I do that, once that cycle runs through without me trying to control it, an outpouring of energy and creativity is the end result.
Cultivating your creative genius is a holistic, circular process. Practice strengthens ability over time. I recently had an experience that drove that home for me.
This week, I was headed home on the four-hour drive. For some reason, my GPS directed me down a dirt road I didn’t expect. But I took it because it never steered me wrong. For about half an hour, the dirt road seemed to be going somewhere through the Colorado mountains. I could see recent tire tracks. But it started to get rougher, and I was glad my Honda CRV was able to navigate it without getting high-centered. I thought about turning back. I chose not to.
Several times, I had to stop to figure out a way forward without getting stuck. There was no one around. Then the road ended up with a gate across it. GPS said I was on a county road. Apparently not. I became more and more concerned because I didn’t know how to get back. Eventually, I saw some hunters and asked for help. They told me there was no way I could get to my destination. They pointed the way back to where I had started. A half-hour later, I was beginning again.
This time on the paved road to home.
This is a situation that would usually cause panic. This time, meandering on an unknown wild road appeared to be a metaphor for the change I am going through – from career girl to starting Seedbop. I have no idea how to make a business work. I’m trying everything. There is conflicting information on which way to go depending on whom I listen to. I have spent good money on people’s advice that didn’t work. I have had doubts and had to remind myself that I’m on a long, uncertain journey, not a short jaunt around the block in a familiar neighborhood.
I’ve learned to sally forth with fear and doubt as my friend, trusting that I, too, can find something extraordinary if I only stay open and aware that what seem like obstacles can be doorways. I learned to accept myself and my process and let ideas and solutions come to me.
I have had to ask for help. Some of it resonated (advice from the hunters), and some did not (GPS!). I’ve spent a long time on things only to learn they weren’t helpful (that road), and had to start over.
None of this is failure. It’s just part of the process of working toward something genuinely meaningful and life-changing. A journey that will eventually lead to making a big impact, to changing people’s lives for the better, to making life more meaningful. This is not easy. There is no roadmap, no guarantees. Only commitment, openness, willingness to make mistakes, asking for help, starting over with new knowledge, and trust that the Creative Universe will support me in ways I don’t always understand will move us forward to something truly transformative.
Are you on your own journey of transformation? Do you feel doubtful it’s worth it and want to quit? Don’t do it! Keep going! Ask for help! Stay open and keep learning and adjusting, and moving forward.
You have read and heard all kinds of information and advice, much conflicting. There are no recipes; it is about finding what works for you. We’re not here for long. So why not? Choose life and embark on the journey.
The Seedbop habits acknowledge our resistance, doubt, and fear to free up creative ideas and insights and build the skills and habits to bring ideas into reality.
Interested in the steps to a creative life? Download The Seedbop Navigator: 9 Seedbop Habits: Move Past Fear and Stuckness, Become Wildly Creative, Unveil Your One-of-a-Kind Brilliance, Solve Big Problems, Persist Through the Hard Stuff, Flourish in Your Work and Life, Have Fun, Make Things Happen, and Make Your Heart Sing. (click here)
This is the guidebook that will point you in the direction of a more creative life. It’s free. I’m here to help. Walk with me on the seedbop journey. Let’s do this together.
