I’m struggling with seedbop.com. I’ve been in business for five months (I know, a very short time in the online business world), and while my social media following is slowly gaining steam, it’s darn slow. No one has signed up for my email list.
I paint with a marvelous group of people on Thursday mornings under the tutelage of Coni Grant, a great contemporary landscape painter and a great teacher (conigrant.com). My new friend Mabel is the person who inspired the idea of this business. She’s ninety and a skilled painter who is eternally unsatisfied with her work. She looks at my paintings and wishes she could adopt my colorful style. We’ve had many talks about this.
Mabel’s birth country is the United Kingdom, and she went through the blitz in London. During our last class, she revealed she’s afraid to waste paint. Translated: afraid to experiment with color because it might not work. And the painting will be “ruined.” I get it. I was born to depression-era parents who made us clean our plates at dinner so as not to waste food. Paint! Food! Can’t waste anything; it may never come around again.
Hence, my wildly colorful and paint-laden style is challenging for her. Coni Grant says the solution to every painting problem is more paint. I’ve come to see that this is true. And it presents a dilemma for those of us paralyzed by the thought of wasting resources on a move that dead ends.
Don’t get me wrong; reckless wastefulness is not encouraged. But we have to try different things and perfect that recipe by experimenting with different ingredients. This sometimes leads to something inedible that is relegated to the compost heap. But compost has value in that waste allowed to ferment grows wonderful new things. We harness the uncertain power of waste/compost until we figure out the right balance for deliciousness.
So I suggested to Mabel, ignore those voices – waste more paint! Try any color that pops into your head – most of the time, in my case, cadmium red light, in copious amounts – and if it doesn’t work, scrap it off. Then put in the next color that seedbops its way into your instincts.
Waste More Paint. This may be a metaphor for leaving behind self-judgment, constrictions, shoulds, and all that programming life and culture places on us and just going for it. Even if it means careening around ineffectively and incompetently for a while. Trusting that, eventually, the way forward will get clearer. Not being afraid to fail, lose, or waste money on the journey. Knowing that journey itself includes wasting paint, going down dead-end alleys, and having to trace our way back to the main road.
When I started this business, I wanted to do everything effectively. I did not want to spend money and energy on something that provided no value. That did not work because I have no idea what I’m doing! Starting an online business and marketing myself is so far afield from any of my life and career experience.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you really needed help but couldn’t find the right person? I needed a business coach. I tried one person I thought might be it, but no. Wasting quite a bit of money along the way. I’m taking a copywriting class from Jon Morrow, and he cited a blog post that riveted me by a woman named Naomi Dunford. So I looked her up, and she’s become, my coach! I had my first session yesterday, and I know I’ve found my person. After I told her my story about ideas and inspirations for this work, she read back to me phrases I said and told me that those would become my capstones for marketing. They were delicious, and I had no idea I said them. I was just talking.
I wasted paint thrashing around with my insecurity, lack of skills, and experience. I kept following my instincts, being compassionate about my naivety and failures. I kept searching, being open, and listening to what the universe was whispering to me in that still, small voice.
Has everything been resolved? Absolutely not! And it probably never will be. That is true for any life journey worth taking. I have a strong bent toward efficiency, competency, and hard work. This is not all bad, but sometimes we have to be with what is, listen to our hearts, and waste more paint until the next glistening jewel appears along the path to making our heart sing.
Interested in the steps to a creative life? Download The Seedbop Navigator: 9 Seedbop Habits: Move Past Fear and Stuckness, Become Wildly Creative, Unveil Your One-of-a-Kind Brilliance, Solve Big Problems, Persist Through the Hard Stuff, Flourish in Your Work and Life, Have Fun, Make Things Happen, and Make Your Heart Sing. (click here)
This is the guidebook that will point you in the direction of a more creative life. It’s free. I’m here to help. Walk with me on the seedbop journey. Let’s do this together.